Image shows: Trans-Penine Rap Wars! EffinEff Vs Thirty Bob!

Image ID: 10

A war of words had broken out between EffinEff and his Mancunian nemesis, Thirty Bob! Thirty is rumoured to take his name from a particular masculine measurement in centimetres, and is spreading rumours about Effin regarding his alleged practice of putting a black pudding down his trousers before going on stage. This argument gained weight when it seems an incompetent aide bought a black pudding ring for the singer's appearance rather than a straight one and they were all too stoned to notice.

Thirty Bob then angered the EffinEff camp by posting a spoof set of instructions relating to the incident on his social networking pages. EffinEff responded with a tirade ending in the words "The potatoes you put down your trousers would look so much more impressive if you got it right and put them down the front!".

Thirty has now challenged Effin to a showdown live on local breakfast TV. EffinEff, claiming that he wouldn't get a fair whip of the crack on a Mancunian channel, has demanded that any TV appearances they make to assess just who has really got what in their trousers must happen on an impartial channel. Effin's manager has suggested Look South as a potential programme for the on-air debate. No date for broadcast has yet been confirmed.

In the meantime, Thirty Bob has released a record sampling a well known Abba track that he has titled Whippet Eater, about the debacle of EffinEff's GEEGAW charity launch... EffinEff and his buddies are reputed to be livid at this affront, and there is the possiblity of a drive-by conkering outside the favourite night club of Thirty Bob's posse, the Eccles and Disbury Shirking Men's Club.