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22/10/2014: Local pawnbroker gets a new business name thanks to Dimitri Varkov

'Uncle' Phil Stein had been a pawnbroker in nearby Stoney Broooke for more years than most of us could remember. His particular brand of warm-hearted avarice had provided locals with spot cash when needed against the deposit of family heirlooms and other choice items for generations.

With his recent demise, his four sons, Arnie, Bernie, Ernie and Lew were left to run the business. Being smart young things, they decided that a more 21st century business model would be a good thing to take forward.

More than that, they were impressed by the four figure apr values quoted in modern pay-day loan companies on the television and being of one mind, they decided to re-brand the business. Using their initials, the company name ABLE LENDING seemed a natural choice.

That was fine until Arnie decided that he was going to retire on his share of the old man's estate and disappeared to somewhere in Spain, leaving the other brothers to carry on without him.

At this point, sibling rivalry took over and they all wanted their initial at the front of the new business name. To arbitrate, they engaged the services of my old chum Dimitri as a marketing consultant. His solution was simple, they should draw names out of a hat to decide the order of their initials. With great ceremony, Phil's old kippah was dusted off and three pieces of paper placed inside.

Bernie's name came out first, then Ernie's, leaving Lew to bring up the rear. There was resentment, but a deal's a deal and the job was done.

Without further reference to Dimitri, the new sign for the shop was ordered, and arrived this week. I hope that they are happy with their business name and how well it may describe what they do.

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