Use of cookies. Mouse over here for details.

Use of cookies on this web site: Farkham Hall T/A Farkham Hall Stores collects no personally identifiable data in cookies. However, a number of social media and search engine companies place tracking cookies without our consent or co-operation. If you wish to avoid tracking, please read our cookies policy, where you will find links to resources that will help you set your browser accordingly.
Show Cookies Policy
Accept & Continue
Join Mailing List
Looking for something particular?

Farkham Hall - Selected Blog Item

Search my 'blog
Find word or phrase...
Find posts dated...
15/08/2011: The Appalling Vicar Bastard of the Farkhams

Since posting the picture of my friend, Count Dimitri Varkov and I, many friends have asked who the reverend gentleman in the picture is. I can tell you that he was the local vicar of our school. Ivor Parrish was affectionately known to the flock that he served (and the congregation of his church, Saint Olav The Ignominious) as The Appalling Vicar Bastard. His control of the local wedding mafia was absolute, with the choice of flowers for the church being whatever his aunt had left over in the shop, delivered in the back of her husband's 'wedding limo', which bore more than a passing resemblance to a hearse. Brides have been seen leaving the church in tears having recognised the remains of the words 'We will miss you dad' in their wedding bouquet.

The AVB's main contribution to the greater good was to identify the cash value of solemnity. In the early days of video, he was heard to tell all couples getting married that because of the solemnity of what they were about to do, no video cameras would be allowed in St Olav's. However, on the changing hands of £250 this rule would be waived. So there you have it. The price of solemnity is £250, thank you Ivor!

Despite the best efforts of many in the parish to disguise their video equipment, they were always caught through the diligence of Snoop, the verger, who would instantly remove any offenders from the church, many of whom were never seen again.

See more news items in our blog.

Post a comment on this page.Click here to request Information on blog item 2
Share this story
Link to this story (copy/paste):
share us on facebook
share us on twitter
share us on pinterest
image link to send our link to a friend
get us to call you back