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15/04/2012: Rapoff Time at Farkham University (FU)

The night of the big rap-off approaches! We have signed up EffinEff, Thirty Bob, EmCee Squared and the latest sensation locally, Rich T to come to Farkham University Second Hall (FU2) and show the world what they have got.

You may remember the story so far is that Thirty Bob has accused EffinEff of appearing on stage with black pudding inserted in his trousers for effect. Effin, insensed by this slight has challenged Thirty Bob to a rap-off challenge to settle once and for all, which of them is the genuine article when it comes to British rapping.

Throwing his weight around now is Geordie rapper, EmCee Squared, whose latest album, 'Eeeeeeeee =' is a thinly veiled attach on both protagonists in this debate. Both EffinEff and Thirty Bob have denied all accusations levelled at them through the album about being foul mouthed layabouts whose combined musical talent wouldn't get them the third triangle slot in his local school band. EmCee goes on to claim that you will never hear bad language in any of his records. In response, both Effin and Thirty have claimed that EmCee's accent is so broad that nobody could ever tell whether he was using profanities or not.

Rich T has entered the fray quite recently, but claims that he should have a place in the rap-off just to prevent it being a totally northern affair, and that the displaced kids of his native Guildford have had just as hard a time growing up, therefore have similar angst to air, making rap music that is every bit as relevant as their northern counterparts.

Dismissing Rich T lightly as a soft, shandy drinking southern jessie, all three of the northern rappers have threatened to boycott the rap-off if this seemingly well-to-do contestant is allowed in. The promoter, Lew Q Patience, says that this showdown represents the best opportunity that British rap fans will have to witness the finest young talents in the field taking each other on head to head. Patience manages three out of four of the acts, so any boycott is fairly unlikely, the only odd man out being Thirty Bob, the Mancunian, whose jibes against EffinEff started the whole project. Thirty now feels that he is being muscled out by the 'Effin Mafia' as he calls the alliance between EmCee Squared, Rich T, EffinEff and Lew Q, and is threatening a breakaway event at which he will be able to 'tell the truth' about EffinEff and the black pudding scandal.

This milestone concert is set to take place at the second hall of Farkham University (FU2) on May 27th, 2012. Tickets are on sale now through the Lew Q agency at £45 each. EffinEff has vowed to donate all his winnings to his favourite charity, GEEGAW (Give Every English Gentleman A Whippet), while Thirty Bob has pledged his earnings to the Eccles Cake Society, EmCee Squared promises his earnings to the fallen women of the north east. Rich T says he will buy a nice set of alloys and a 400W bass bin for his Vauxhall Corsa. Watch this space for more news as it breaks.

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